dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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