And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
