end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
