Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
