That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
