Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
