i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
