Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
