I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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