How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
