and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
