cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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