i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
