glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
