Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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