I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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