we're blogging at a bar
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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