I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
