Yo dont text me then not text me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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