Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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