Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
