I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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