You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
