I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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