all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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