you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
