Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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