She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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