so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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