Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
