shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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