I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
