Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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