that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
