that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
