Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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