I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Holy sore nipples Batman
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
