Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
