well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
