There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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