Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
