i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
