Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
