my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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