The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
