She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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