I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
