I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My bed smells like the plague
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
