I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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