Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
it hurts more in the daytime
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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