she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
