Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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